loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
