you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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