OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
