Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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