batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
