6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
