Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
