What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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