:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize