my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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