David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
