Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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