Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
