I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
