My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
