So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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