Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
