did you get engaged???
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
