Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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