how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
