The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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