I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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