I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
