I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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