i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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