Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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