brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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