I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
