ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
