Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was like getting head from an anaconda
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
