is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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