how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
