also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
