You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
