Sorry, I don't speak sober.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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