You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
