woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
