too bad you live with your parents still
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
