i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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