its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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