dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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