Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
