He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
operation harelip BJ is a go
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
