how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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