who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
