haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
