Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You've changed since you got that strap on
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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