well you can't waste a boner
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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