the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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