I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
