I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
