You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
