I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
