My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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