It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
